I Feel Hated

I feel hated by the universe. I've been conditioned my whole life to want to do the right thing and be a good person. I've always tried to be honest and act only when my heart tells me to. I've avoided doing harm to anyone or anything as much as I can.

Every time I try to enjoy myself, the world throws it in my face in intense ways, that I cannot have the one thing in the world I want the most. Every thought is connected.

I would rather die than think anymore.