Losing My Shit

My face is burning. I've been fighting off the urge to blow up all day. Two and a half years I've felt completely awful, save for a few exceptional blinks. Why can't I find any peace? Why does everyone keep insisting I choose to feel this way?

Everything people tell me is virtuous about me makes me hate myself. I am about ready to join the uncaring medicated masses.

This is my problem. Apparently, no one can fix it but me. If that's true, I don't know how.