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Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Out on Tour

And as would likely be expected, the Universe found a way to test my emotional fortitude. For once, I'm doing pretty well.

We're having a blast.

That is all to report at this particular juncture.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Ka, Like a Wind

Not my most gutwreching Austin trip. I wound up sleeping in the van after cancelling a show that would have been our second of the night. I think we've only cancelled once before, and that's because we had killed 2 vehicles trying to get there. Last night, the traffic was so bad and poorly rerouted that we couldn't get to our venue. Yay, Southby!

I must say, the weather was gorgeous! It must have rained really well for the first time in years. There was green everywhere, and it wasn't too dry.

On the way home, our van died.

We go on tour in a few days, and we start in, wanna guess? Austin!

Pleasant as it was, the crowd was too much for me, and there's always the factor of my really wanting to see someone and being scared to death that I'll see her. I think she tactfully avoids me. We have enough mutual friends that she can easily find something cooler to do, way across town from me. I still wish I knew why things happened as they did...

Anyway, a random friend from Beaumont happened to see us on the side of the road in La Grange. He bought a trailer hitch and towed our trailer back to Beaumont for free, even bought Drew and me some rad BBQ, and wouldn't accept a cent from us. I feel I have the strangest brand of luck.

I still feel like a dick because Vinc and Zach stayed in Austin with the dead van, but they don't have the same damage as I do about that place. I hope they're having fun. I often feel like I ruin their time in Austin because I wear the feeling in my gut on my face.

Dang.

Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Falling Down the Ladder of Positivity

And hitting every negative ass rung on the way down.

A song I heard last night got me feeling sentimental, and lead to the gamit of emotions including paranoia, sadness, anxiety, anger, and nostalgia.

I'm about to be in Austin twice within the next few days, and I've done well to not let that bother me until about last night. No matter what happens, my gut will be in knots the entire time. I'm just glad the Wolves' tour starts there. Everything else will be a breeze, unless I run into some worst case scenario type action or information.

Adding to my sinking mood, I've seen a certain model of car about 5 times today, and heard a certain name a few times, and been reminded of some particularly fond memories. Then, I go to meet my mom for lunch, she has to cancel because the courthouse where she works was on lockdown. A guy who was to be on trial today for sexually assaulting his daughter, who I've heard was mentally handicapped, apparently ran his daughter over with his car before going into the courthouse and shooting 4 people with a rifle, killing one, and I believe another died afterward. (It's been a while since I posted this, and the idea that I almost got my mom shot won't leave my mind. She'd have left 2 hours later if I hadn't rescheduled our lunch.)

Kinda hard to stay exclusively happily excited about the upcoming tour and my new guitar being painted, but it's a start.

I am finding sense in acting as a libertine to numb myself and replace my hopes of something I've always wanted, but will doubtfully ever achieve.

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

I Like You

Whether or not we know each other well, whether or not we've argued or fought, whether or not we ever had or ever will be lovers, whether or not we ever met, I'm aware of you, and I like you.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A Quick Note

I have fallen more in love with guitar. And bass. And Italian jazz.