Waking Up

It's been a day of good omens. Twice, the number 1998 appeared. That was the last year I remember as having been largely enjoyable. I was prompted to ask myself what made it such a good year, and I realized that it was a time where I was immersed in my own ongoing pursuit of happiness. It rarely bothered me at all that I was single. In fact, I loved that I was, and avoided any risk of losing such a status. Granted, I hadn't yet lost my virginity nor had any lengthy relationship with a woman. It was this that gave me the freedom of will it takes to realize what actually makes me happy, which is being artistically productive and being aware of my ability, and therefore, sharp and focused with what I had. 14 years later, I have experienced much. Enough to realize that I was right in thinking I had it all figured out. Much of last year, I spoke to myself about how that wasn't the case because I was in pursuit of an idea that I thought would be far more spiritually lucrative and satisfying. In hindsight, I was miserable the entire time, enjoying a future that would never come to be. My New Year's Resolutions are to be entirely honest, fearless, and present so that I won't wind up living in some lie, figuring out how to trick myself and everyone else into believing that the world is great, but instead, actually making the world great. I resolve to own responsibility for my own happiness.