A Debt of Gratitude

It's been on my mind lately that everything I was depressed about for the past 14 years has really been for the better. Very recently, I was moving towards being a husband and stepfather, which would have been the end of my life's work towards being a particular kind of musician. I have no business trying to be a family man, or any brand of adult. I've known that my entire life, but I was so enchanted by the woman that any other source of happiness seemed unreal. She was right to call things off with me, even though it really hurt at the time. A mother's instincts are truly powerful, and undebatable. Experience has separated me from who I was when I was truly happy, but I'm now using all I've learned to figure out exactly what's important and how to achieve being who I need to be. Her intuition that I'd never really care about health insurance and financial security was pretty damn accurate. It's no discredit to her that she's looking for that kind of thing, it's about the wellbeing of her child, not some golddigging scandal. I'm grateful to her. I'm grateful to every good woman that left me with the opportunity to realize that I was happy once before, and I have every reason to be that way again. In fact, it is my duty to the world to prove that following your dream is key to the survival of all that exists. Maybe when I'm 50 and wealthy, I'll slow it down and support a family. Maybe not.