I've spent a lot of time reflecting and thinking about my relationships with people. Goddammit, out of nearly 700 "friends", I think I'd get more interaction and fewer lonely nights! So no more aggrandizing acquaintances. Hell, I had a couple of "friends" that I really don't even like. They're just people I know that have never directly accosted me. There's even one that I might consider my enemy, as his every action sends me reeling in disgust, and several of his actions have severely soiled my opinion of a couple of local girls I had previously spent long hours musing over.
I think my constant shutting down of social networking profiles gives people the impression that I'm a hateful asshole or something of the sort. On the contrary, I like all the people too much to rely on vague public conversations, which lack inflection, to be the medium on which to sustain friendship.
A message to many of you, the pretty girls- Your sweet words and pretty pictures tie up my brain on lonely nights. I lose sleep thinking about how you put yourselves on such a display, but for me to voice my undying appreciation just feels inappropriate, as does not voicing my appreciation. I'm too old for this shit.
So step out of the pixels and plasma screens. Be real. Let's go have tea sometime, as drunkenly trying to read myself to sleep sucks, and as it is in life and movies, so it is in a day- how it ends is every bit as important as everything else.
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6 comments:
Hey, since you're not on facebook, I'll try to check the blog every once in a while. We should catch up soon. Like on the phone or something.
postscript: are you still thinking about coming up to dallas for the birthday party? Let me know, you can crash with us if you need to.
I am the most dysfunctional public conversational-ist in the world.
-Brandi (Journeys, blue hair)
I don't think making it to Dallas is a very realistic goal right now, but if that changes, I certainly appreciate the offer! I'll email you my number!
Brandi, no one should be! That's why I'm taking it all back to the blog, even though I don't write as often. The way I see it, the blog is available to the public, but it won't automatically show up on someone else's wall or stream. If you want to know what I'm yapping about, it's there, and responses cam be as public or private as you want. Me digs.
Even though you didnt name any names a couple of posts back, I know that I am one of those individuals that has unfortunately fallen into the acquaintance category. I hate that. Of course it isnt anyone's fault but my own. I was watching Nirvana Unplugged the other day and it just brought me back to the past. I remember hanging out and playing guitars in your room or in my garage. I remembered that time we got jumped at the mall for our bikes. I just remember having a lot of fun with a lot of people that I have seemed to drift away from over the last decade and a half. Billie Patterson was one of my my best friends in the entire world and by the end of high school we hardly talked. I hate that too. Basically I am saying that I understand your point exactly and I really feel the same way. 98 percent of the people on my "friends" list are simply people who know my name. There are only a few who are really truly friends. We really need to get together for beers one night and catch up if you are down for hanging out with a settled down old married dad. :)
Good tea and conversation make for a great evening.
I feel like you're inside my brain on this one. Get out of there!
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