Here are some of the facts to which I became aware over the past 3 days.
I can meditate and focus on enlightenment 'til the cows come home, but knowing I'll be passing through certain parts of the universe, especially on the way to my brother's wedding, will become intensely destructive, in an emotional sense. I in turn learned that I can zone out in the back of my dad's car for a VERY long time, completely missing entire towns and related conversations.
My tendency to speak sarcastically has got many people to laugh and shrug off some of the most serious and important things I say.
I am rarely, if ever, interested at all in tourist attractions. I am far more inclined to enjoy the gnarled root system of a tree desperately growing through the cracks in a sidewalk, or stopping to appreciate a single brick in a huge wall, without which the wall may be considered flawed to the point of being worthless.
New Orleans is a deeply charming place. It never ceased to hold its charm, which was slightly problematic, as that charm has a particular weight for me.
Unrequited love leads to nihilism.
John and Jill really, really love each other so much that nothing bothered me when they gave their vows. That was amazing. They'll be together forever, and that restores some hope for me.
It is awkward to be one of the only single people at a wedding, especially when people ask why.
Absinthe is a great father/son bonding device.
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3 comments:
Sometimes I think that the only way to truly get over something like that is to find something better. Because even if you meditate or concentrate on bettering yourself, you're going to be alone and that single fact will cancel out any of the good you accomplish.
That's a tad depressing, but it's what I keep proving to myself time and time again.
Thanks for being there and following it up with the kind words, broseph.
If my experience teaches anything I hope it's that you should not dwell on past attempts. As hard as it may be to believe (and was for me), you really can find the right person at 31 years of age (and therefore 41 or 51 as well).
It's hard to understand why being single is such a stigma. Personally, it's the best thing I've done in years. Lots of experiences in life lead to nihilism... but not opening yourself up to those experiences really isn't living at all.
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